THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A CHASE

When it comes to getting what we want in life, we either chase them or attract them.

At first glance, chasing and attracting might look like twins. Both involve effort, dreams and determination. But one’s powered by desperation and the other? Quiet confidence. The results? Worlds apart.

Chasing: The Exhausting Loop of “Not Enough”

Chasing feels empowering—like you’re going after what’s yours. But here’s where life hits you with irony: it’s actually a big ol’ trap. Chasing lowers your vibe, fills you with desperation and makes you feel like that person at the party who keeps trying too hard to be cool. It doesn’t work.

When you’re chasing, you’re losing touch with yourself. You forget who you are and end up playing small, trying to fit into places you don’t even belong. It’s like being a magnet flipped the wrong way—pushing everything you want even further away.

12 Signs You’re Chasing, Not Attracting

Now, how do you know if you’re stuck in the chase trap? Here’s a basic checklist:

1. Your morning starts with a checklist, not intention. You wake up thinking, “What do I need to do today?” instead of, “Who do I want to be today?”

2. You network with an agenda. You’re not connecting to feel the joy of human connection — You are doing it for WIIFM (What's in it for me) i.e. you look for what you can get from them: a job, a deal, or validation.

3. You overpromise and under-rest. You take on too much, thinking saying “yes” will win approval or open doors, but you’re too exhausted to enjoy the results.

4. You romanticize being “busy.” If your schedule isn’t packed, you feel like you’re failing. But deep down, you know being busy doesn’t mean being impactful.

5. You’re stuck in comparison mode. You scroll through someone else’s life highlight reel and suddenly feel like you’re behind—so you double down on the hustle.

6. You cling to relationships that have expired. Instead of letting go, you convince yourself, “If I try harder, they’ll appreciate me.” Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.

7. Every milestone feels like a moving goalpost. You told yourself, “If I get this promotion, I’ll be happy.” But when it happens, you’re already onto the next thing.

8. Gratitude feels like a to-do, not a feeling. You write your gratitude list because you should, not because you truly feel it.

9. You feel like life is an audition. Whether it’s at work, on social media, or even in your relationships, you’re constantly performing for approval.

10. You have no time to pause and enjoy. When’s the last time you truly felt present—without thinking about the next thing?

11. Your ego’s driving the car. You think you’re the main character in every story, always right and know everything about everything in the world.

12. You won’t let go of the wrong stuff. Bad job? Toxic people? Situations that feel like they’re sucking your soul? You hold on because change is scary—but staying stuck is scarier.

So, What’s the Alternative? The Chill State of Attraction

Attracting is a vibe. It’s like being the sun—shining without trying to convince anyone. You’re not out there forcing life to notice you. You’re busy becoming the best version of yourself.

Here’s the magic: when you’re in an attracting state, you don’t trade who you are for what you want. You don’t hustle for approval, and you don’t compromise your values. You just are. And that authenticity? It’s like a neon sign flashing to the universe “Good Vibes Only”.

My “Chase” Era: A Comedy of Errors

Let me tell you—most of my life, I was a proud member of the chasing club. I chased shiny things like a magpie with a caffeine addiction. Cars, money, relationships—I wanted it all and I wanted more of it all. And guess what? I kept attracting people and opportunities that didn’t truly align with me.

The less things worked out, the harder I pushed. And the harder I pushed, the more things slipped through my fingers. It was a frustrating loop—like running on a treadmill and getting nowhere.

Then, after my epic fail of a startup and some existential crisis, I realized: maybe the problem wasn’t the world—it was me. So, I stopped. I stopped chasing and started working on me.

The Glow-Up: How I Found My Groove

I focused on my values, my passions and finding my voice. I stopped needing external validation. And slowly but surely, life started flowing instead of feeling like an uphill sprint. During this phase, I let go of relationships rooted in the older version of me, walked away from work that drained me and turned down opportunities that looked good on paper but didn’t align with who I was becoming. It wasn’t easy, but every ‘no’ cleared space for the right things to find me.

Good things started showing up—not because I was running after them, but because I was finally in sync with them. I wasn’t chasing anymore. I was attracting.

The Moral of the Story

Success, love and happiness aren’t trophies you hunt—they’re rewards for living authentically. When you trust yourself, align with your values and focus on being instead of doing, life opens doors you didn’t even know existed.

As Rumi said, “What you seek is seeking you.”

So, stop running. Slow down. Trust yourself. Build the energy you want to attract and life will mirror it back to you.

The best part? You don’t have to beg for what’s already yours. All you need to do is let it find you.

#SlowLiving #ChaseNoMore #AttractWhatYouDeserve #LifeLessons #MindsetShift #AbundanceMindset